..

There is nothing for which I am responsible.
Just this baggage I'll keep carrying on as if
I had someone.

OK, maybe there is a woman somewhere
who's still thinking of me
or a girl with coal black hair
who's haunted in her dreams.
But what they've seen, well it wasn't me.
It was just some lie that they slept beside.
I kept this from them
but I can't keep this from you.

So will you look for me
in that strange, bright place.
Where the statues bloom in the park.
They don't need no rain.

Because how I ever got to you, I have no idea.
It's like some secret door, well it just appeared.
So, no matter what I do from now on with my time.
you will always stay here in my mind.
I am certain of this and I am not certain of anything.

So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down,
So that these winds of circumstance won't keep blowing me around.
From when I land to when I leave
there is enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running around, when all I want is to lay motionless.

that song always uesd to make me think of kyra. and then i would cry. it makes me me think of sam now. it still makes me cry though.

i like drinking.. because i never really tell people what i feel. i'm always afraid they'll laugh at me or something. and when i'm drunk it doesn't matter anymore.. it's not what other people think. it's just the feelings that matter.

i enver cry. i haven't cried since march.. and i haven't actually cried since november when me and liz broke up.. but i cried a lot tonight..

everybody's right.. i just.. i dnno. i like poeple because they make me happy

but aren't i allowed to be happy? like liz.. we dont really talk anymore but i wouldn't be.. well im not happy now really but when i was happy i wouldnt' have been ifit wasn't for ehr.. and sam.. sam's the best thing that's ever happened to me. she really is. and i love her so much..

i dunno. life is just frustrating. love sucks. life is frusting.. but life doesn't suck.

i miss youuu.

fine. i love you.

im going to sleep now.. g'night <3