whatthefuckiswrongwithmeee.

i've lost it. but not really, it's always like this.

this isn't getting better. it's gonna get worse and worse and i'm starting to feel like i'm not gonna live to see next year.

i want to get out of here but no matter where i got i'm still fucking stuck with whatever the fuck is wrong in my head that makes it impossible for me to just be okay. i keep saying i wish i could get the fuck out of here but i don't have anywhere to go. i don't have anybody who cares enough.

i'm fucking lonely.

i don't know how to fix this. no matter what i do, i always fuck something up. always.

anywhere but here. anyone but me. anything but this.

or just give me some drugs. i don't care what they'll do to me anymore. maybe i need another overdose to scare some sense into me. obviously the first one didn't quite do the trick.

and in the morning, i'll probably wake up and wonder what the fuck i was thinking. but i thought that yesterday and the day before and the day before so who knows.

i don't fucking know what to do anymore.