it's gonna be alrighttt.

i want to dance and sing and drink and smoke and fuck and kiss and get high and write and paint and live and laugh and cry and cook and smile because this is life and i'm gonna live it all and i'm gonna feel it now, cause i'm sick of not feeling a thing and forgetting my whole life.

i haven't thrown up in over a week. haven't even thought of it. it just doesn't appeal to me anymore and i think it's really over.

i'm high right now and i don't hate myself. it feels fucking good. and you know what? being sober feels good too.

i could cry it feels so good.

i just feel okay. there isn't anything left to hate and i'm out of regrets. i'm done living in the past but i can't quite look at the future yet so i'm just gonna live this day by day and hope it keeps going like this.

my goddd. it feels so weird but it feels so good to be okay. and i am. i'm really okay.

i ate today. and for the first time in over three years, i didn't feel guilty or weighed down or bloated and i didn't want to throw up. i felt healthy.

it's going to be okay. there's so much beauty in all the little things and if you can sit down and stop thinking and start feeling for a moment, it just makes it all worth it.

you're not taking this away from me without a fight. it's felt so good to be alive the last few days.

smile. :)